Lament

The other day in philosophy, we talked about laments -- the struggle with God, the anger and frustration that inspires them. How necessary it is to grapple and to ask difficult questions and then let God answer them. The lament form is not often used anymore, perhaps because we are afraid to question or because we want to only dwell on the good. But sometimes subconscious questions demand attention and demand answers. So I decided to practice this form. Hence, "Lament."

Lord over my body, my soul, my mind,
The one for whom I am a temple,
You sculpted me with expert care.
You took your time,
Designed me exactly how you wanted --
Body, mind, soul.

You gave me talents and passions,
Desires, aspirations,
Dictated how the neurons
In my brain developed.
And in my formative years you
Gave me experiences and human interaction:
Fleeting love and companionship,
And enemies and pain!
You treated me too harshly!
You bestowed upon me burdens I cannot bear.

I found
Confusion, hate, resentment
I let them stay with me
Out of necessity and
For lack of wisdom.
Those little devils implanted
Themselves in me, the fiends!
They rot me, terrorize me...
You should not have allowed this!

Where were you, my shield,
My unsinkable ship in the storm?
Were you like the Titanic?
Answer me, hear my call,
I find no satisfaction in life,
And fear I cannot until I have heard
Your calming voice
Soothing in the soft breeze,
All-powerful, all-knowing,
Yet gentle.