The classic interior monlologue of a woman when she sees someone else flirting with the man she's after

A little something I wrote while at work. It's a very crude, overly colloquial poem, but what girl who has been into a guy hasn't had these sentiments before? None, I would argue.

I'm sorry dude, but
that BITCH
has nothing on me.
Compared to me she's
got no class, hell
compared to me she's
got no ass.
She's BLAND,
you know,
she's like oma's boring dutch food
Oma's been cooking it for the last twenty years
and it's overdone 
and I'm a fine Cajun dish,
new, exciting, different, spicy.
Don't even get me started on intelligence, PLEASE!
Bitch, please.
You might make him laugh
now and then,
but I can do that too.
Seriously.
I make him think, too.
Can you do that?
Didn't think so.
So don't even try.
Wow.
I wish you wouldn't try.