Oh, Christmas Tree!

To fully appreciate this one, it should be sung out loud to the tune of "O Christmas Tree".
Please excuse my butchering of the rhythm.
Also, when I was a child, I was obsessed with trains, so we bought some train ornaments. I always (implying still, too) had to have them hanging on a 'track' of garland. It just didn't make sense for them to be just hanging there as though derailed

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,

How lovely are your boughs to me.

I lie beneath your garlanded eaves,

And dream of coming Christmas Eve

You are so fair, and full and fine

You fill the air with sweet, fresh pine.

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,

How lovely are your boughs to me.

Oh dear mother, oh dear mother,

Why are you decorating that tree without any help from others?

You hang those trains with such great care,

Making sure they hang on tracks, not air.

The garland keeps their wheels aligned,

You’ve got that train’s best interests in mind,

But Oh dear mother, oh dear mother,

Why are you decorating that tree without any help from others?

Oh mother dear, oh mother dear,

I really want to help you here

Just now, though, I’m looking at all of the really cool

Ornaments we made as kids in Sunday school

But don’t you dare hang my picture from grade three,

I want to hang myself on that tree

Oh, mother dear, oh mother dear,

I really want to help you here.